The Tracks of My Tears

"You remember what I promised you, don't you?"

i stood there as if i didn't, but really, i did. It was perhaps ironic that He was promising me that i could cry for Him, endure so much pain that it would literally bring me to tears, but that was how it had happened. It really wasn't my fault, though. It's been seven days since He's allowed me an orgasm.

Seven... 7... One week...

No matter how you look at it, it still seems to me as if it's been a year or longer. And in those seven days, i would have made a deal with the devil, if only to feel a bit of release. Perhaps i had. For my Master's part, He likes the changes that have come over me in the past week. His slave has been demure, docile, and very eager to please. Absent have been the beligerent temper tantrums that tend to be sprinkled throughout our weeks. Instead, i've been desperate to please Him to the point that i begged Him to let me cry for Him.

And He graciously agreed.

There were so many errands on our morning that i'd almost thought He'd forgotten, or that there wouldn't be time for it. But He made time. It took only a few moments for Him to bind me, ankle, wrist and neck and after a quick negotiation to alleviate any undue pressure on my recently injured knee, it was decided that i would lay on the bed for this. It turned out best, in the end.

He began with the crop to "warm up" my flesh. In the beginning, it had always been the crop, but He had eventually decided that He liked the intimate contact of His hand against my flesh, so i was slightly surprised that He had decided to use it instead. The blows came harder than usual as if He had some frustration that He was working out on my body. Softly, He would drag the leather across my skin, teasing me, only to pause and swat.

"Disassociate yourself, pet. I want to really break you. I want to know, when you finally cry, that you did everything you could to prevent it."

It was a trick i had learned from Him, during those times of excess stress in my life. Complete relaxation. Maybe other submissives do it too, i don't know. i just know that i take a good deal more of a beating when i do it. That's what He was counting on. What He didn't realize was that the soft drag of the leather against my skin made it hard to relax completely, to refuse to anticipate the blow by flinching ahead of time and making it that much more painful for me. Still, i did as i was told.

The crop traced my cunt lips - nasty cruelness after so many days without being allowed release. It moved up my ass to swat at the padded flesh there. He made a complete round of my body; thighs, ass, back, shoulders, until every inch was tinged in pink from the bite of the crop.

Satisfied that i had been 'warmed up', He moved to lay on the bed beside me. His hand caressed the curve of my buttocks and for a moment, i forgot myself and leaned in to His touch. His hand lifted and came down on one cheek hard.

"That's it, pet. Fight it. I don't want you to scream unless you just can't help yourself."

i lay still, feeling His hand move from one buttock to the next and back again, each time coming down in a loud slap that was harder than i could ever recall feeling. My father was a fan of corporal punishment. Everything from disobedience to poor grades (including a mediocre 'C') was met with a belt across my backside - but even thinking back, i can't remember ever having been struck as harshly as He was doing today.

3... 4... 5... 6... i wasn't counting, but i think i made it at least to six before i finally cried out. It was a wracking cry followed by quick intakes of breath.

"Are those tears I hear on the edge of your voice?"

"No, Master. i can take more."

"Good."

He struck me again and again, switching from one ass cheek to the next, intentionally striking on top of where he had hit before, each pass stronger than the last. Finally, i broke down, crying out as the tears welled up in my eyes. i could tell that He was pleased with the sound, but still, He did not relent. He crooned at me softly, but His hand continued it's rhythmic spanking until my whole body shook with the force of my tears. i thought He would continue forever, make me beg for Him to stop, but His pleasure took over then and without warning, He turned me over and raised my legs up, giving Him access to use me. The bed burned against an ass that felt like it was on fire and each thrust brought with it a new round of whimpering cries. His eyes remained on my face, my tears, the entire time, and i could see in His expression that He was loving every minute of it.

When He was finished, He lay down beside me once again, His hands wandering across my naked flesh. His cruelty was not sated, though, as His fingers moved down between my thighs, rubbing and teasing me. "Please, don't," i whimpered, but He only laughed. He always laughs when i'm being tortured. i love it.

"What if i cum?" i asked. It had been 7 days, after all and after the way that He had just used me, i was already wanting it.

"you wont," He replied.

"Yes, but what if i do?"

"you won't," He repeated as if that was the end of it.

It took all of the concentration that i had to endure His teasing touch. Several times, i came close, but i managed to remain in blissful torture. He finally finished teasing me after what had seemed like an hour but must have been closer to twenty minutes. In the end, i rolled over, turning away from Him. His hand went to my ass and i could tell, though my back was turned to Him, that He liked what He saw. Ruptured capillaries had freckled my skin, a testimony to His handiwork. Pleased He must have been, for He turned me back to face Him.

It was time for round two.